At 4 pm today, I’ll be 24 years old. At age 24:

• Lord Byron was already a world-renowned poet and philanderer.
• 89% of all people who will ever earn a college degree have already done so.
• The majority of the people currently alive on this world have exhausted nearly half of their life expectancy.
• 1 in 3 sexually active people have contracted an STD.

So, I’m in the good column on that last one!

My skills and accomplishments, at age 24, include:

• The ability to talk on a telephone.
• A passable understanding of HTML, javascript, CSS, PHP, and the things you can do with them.
• A five year relationship that, while not always perfect, has been better than anything I statistically could have expected as a young gay man who is a child of divorce.
• A close group of friends who put up with damn near everything I do.
• Nearly 18 years experience in advanced navelgazing.
• Fellatio, a much-underrated skill.
• A ten year tobacco addiction, or a waste of about $12,000.
• The ability to ‘name that tune’ in three bars.
• Zero chance of turning any of these, save the first, into a career. Or at least, zero chance without a degree or much more inventiveness and/or luck than I have displayed so far.

Okay, that’s enough introspection. I’m going to go get drunk now!