Which FF7 Dude Are You? So, as I take the test, I’m only naturally hoping, in my secret heart, to get Cloud Strife, or perhaps Barret. Do I get either of those? No. Do I get even Sephiroth? No. I, apparently, according to this test, am a fucking Chocobo. Of course, as consolation, I suppose, the badge graphic tells me that I “just wanna have fun, riding the night away.” Well, true enough, but how exactly does that make me a big, yellow bird that isn’t even a main character in the game?